No matter how much we focus on our parenting, there come times when we wonder, “How are my kids doing?” Those moments might appear when a challenging incident occurs, such as a public tantrum, or the dreaded minor stealing event. We might also torture ourselves with doubts about our children’s emerging character traits when we see someone else’s child handling a situation seemingly better than our own. Worst of all, these questions can howl in the middle of the night for….well, just because. Night yaps. That’s what they called it in one episode of West Wing. Good name for it? Relax. You can breathe now. There are solutions for these doubts!
What Can I Do?
Parenting doesn’t need to be perfect, or even exceptional, all the time. Better if it isn’t, so we can show our children how life really goes and have a chance to model apologizing or changing our minds because we found a better way.
I like to have reference lists to fall back on when I’m feeling vulnerable. Like a list of the criteria I used to make a difficult decision. Or a list of things I want to accomplish for organizing this blog. Lists like this keep me on track and help me dispute the night yaps. I can check my list and see how I am doing. And then quit worrying! How about a basic list of character traits to help us when we fell like lousy parents?
A Handy List of CharacterTraits
I found this list on a blog called India Parenting. Top 10 Traits of Extremely Intelligent Kids. When I read it the first time I noticed that most of the traits are things we can help our children (and grandchildren) acquire! Hooray! We can’t affect our child’s actual IQ all that much, but that isn’t the point. A higher functioning child with a set of fine character traits is a more intelligent child, right?
During a session in my office involving a parent and their young adult child the parent said that all they wanted was to know that their grown child could run their own show. I liked that! Run their own show. That says it all, doesn’t it? We all know solid character traits and skills are a big part of what it takes to run our own show.
Enjoy the list and let me know what you think. What other traits do you feel are important and how are you teaching them?
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